Tonight we're going to be looking at a very important subject, the matter of giving and receiving criticism. It is a subject that all of us need to consider, because if we haven't given criticism, then perhaps we have at least received it. I know that I am somewhat of an expert, I'll let you guess at which area. : ) This evening, I will ask you to help me with some input along the way. Consider this as more of a Bible study than a sermon. Let's begin with a definition.
Defining Criticism
A. Criticism is "any judgment made about you by another, which declares that you fall short of a particular standard."
1. That's a good place for us to start, because it is general enough to include a lot of different categories…
2. For example, it doesn't say whether the judgment is fair or not [so the ideas of just or unjust criticism] can both fall under this heading…
3. It doesn't say if the standard was a reasonable one…
4. It doesn't say anything about tone of voice, timing, etc…because it is possible for a particular criticism to be fair as far as its content, but unfair regarding the process…
5. We will discuss those kinds of things out as we proceed through this…but we purposely want to begin with a pretty broad definition, so we can get as many kinds of situations under this heading as possible.
B. Let's talk about this a little bit together … INPUT
1. What kinds of things are we often criticized for?
2. What forms does criticism take?
3. Why is criticism hard to take?
4. Why is criticism hard to give?
(Psa 141:5) Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
C. Tonight our focus will be on receiving criticism, we will consider how to give criticism later on.
I. A Willingness to Receive Criticism is a Mark of the Wise.
(Prov 12:15) The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
A. The wise man recognizes his fallibility.
1. The way of the fool seems right to him….it is right in his own eyes….therefore there is going to be a real resistance to accepting criticism regardless of how its given.
2. In fact, my guess is that all of have people in our lives that we would say things like…
a. That person was very critical to me…they were very mean…they were very harsh…
b. Where, if the truth were to be known…it wasn't so much that they were being harsh as it was that we were being foolish.
(Prov 13:10) Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
c. Pride results in contention or quarrels.
d. But the second half of the verse tells us that there is wisdom in the well advised'
e. What's the point?
B. The wise man avoids quarreling.
1. The argument of this verse is very important.
2. On the one hand is the person who wisely receives counsel, and uses his energy to listen, to learn, and to change.
3. On the other hand is the person who because of pride and presumption pours the time and energy into quarreling, being defensive, fighting, pouting, etc.
4. A good question for all of us to ask is, which one am I more like?
(Prov 17:10) A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool.
C. The wise man listens quickly and carefully.
1. So what's the overall point here?
2. A willingness to receive criticism is a mark of the wise.
II. The Wise and the Fool Reap According to their Ability to Receive Criticism.
(Prov 13:13) Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded.
A. Fools pay for rejecting criticism, wise persons are rewarded for receiving it.
B. Heeding criticism increases ones wisdom.
(Prov 9:9) Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.
1. How do wise people become wise?
2. In part, by responding to criticism in a wise fashion.
3. The point is---how we respond to criticism today is not a short-term issue…it has long-term implications…
4. We're either building wisdom for the future, or foolishness….
C. Heeding criticism increases ones understanding.
(Prov 15:32) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
1. The word translated "understanding" in verse 32 is the Hebrew word that means 'heart' or 'mind'.
2. It speaks of the ability to process information, or to understand something.
3. How does that fit the topic of criticism?
4. Some people increase their understanding by listening to criticism; some people don't expand their minds because they don't.
III. We Need to Learn to Accept Criticism through the Lens of the Cross.
(Rom 3:10-11) As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: {11} There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.
(Gal 3:10) For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse: for it is written, Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the law to do them.
(James 2:10) For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
A. In Christ's cross, I agree with God's judgment (or criticism) of me.
1. There is a sense in which the cross is a highly critical instrument…because it says of us that our best efforts to please God by ourselves fall short.
2. Our righteousness is as filthy rags.
3. We could never be saved apart from divine intervention.
4. But its actually worse…because not only does the cross tell us that someone else had to die for us….it also tells us that we must die.
5. The cross was an instrument of sacrifice for us, but it is also an example of sacrifice for us.
B. Consider what Paul said in Galatians 2:20.
(Gal 2:20) I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
(Rom 6:6) Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
1. If I know myself as crucified with Christ, I can now receive another's criticism with this attitude: "You don't know the half of it!"
2. Christ has said more about my sin, my failings, my rebellion and my foolishness than any man can lay against me
3. I thank you for your corrections.
4. They are a blessing and a kindness to me.
5. For even when they are wrong or misplaced, they remind me of my true faults and sins for which my Lord and Savior paid dearly when He went to the cross for me.
6. I want to hear where your criticisms are valid.
C. In Christ's cross, I agree with God's justification of me.
(Rom 8:1) There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
1. In light of God's judgment and justification of the sinner in the cross of Christ, we can begin to discover how to deal with any and all criticism.
2. If we reckon ourselves as having been crucified with Christ, then we can respond to any criticism, even misplaced or hostile criticism, without bitterness, defensiveness, or blame shifting.
3. We can learn to hear criticism as constructive and not condemnatory because God has justified you.
4. The point is --- on one hand, the cross makes us worse than we would have ever guessed, and on the hand, it makes us better than we would have ever hoped.
5. So when someone criticizes us…its not nearly the big deal that some would make it out to be.
6. My stand before God and man is not based on my own righteousness anyway; it is based on the imputed righteousness of Christ, which can never be changed.
IV. We Need to Learn to Apply these Principles to Both Just and Unjust Criticism.
A. Just Criticism
1. Repent quickly
(1 John 2:1-2) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: {2} And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
(Psa 38:18) For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.
2. Rejoice in God's forgiveness and cleansing
(1 John 1:9) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
3. Take steps to change
(Prov 23:18) For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.
4. Thank God and our critic.
a. The correction and advice that we hear are sent by our heavenly Father.
b. They are His corrections, rebukes, warnings, and scoldings.
c. His reminders are meant to humble us, to weed out the root of pride and replace it with a heart and lifestyle of growing wisdom, understanding, goodness, and truth.
B. Unjust Criticism
1. Don't blow it off, look for the nugget of truth
(Mat 7:3) And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
2. Speak honestly with your critic concerning this criticism; it could be that we can both learn.
3. Do not be overwhelmed or discouraged by the criticism; to do so would be a sinful reaction.
4. Focus rather upon the imputed righteousness of Christ.
5. Remember, if I am crucified with Christ, then I am dead…that means I will not allow the criticism to cause me to react in a sinful manner!