## God's People Are To Get Along And Solve Problems

## Matthew 18

I. How To Keep From Being Offensive (personal preparation)

A. What was the disciples' question in Matt. 18:1 ?

(Mat 18:1) "At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

1. What had Jesus just told His disciples prior to this? (cf Mk. 9:31-33.)

(Mark 9:31-33) "For he taught his disciples, and said unto them, The Son of man is delivered into the hands of men, and they shall kill him; and after that he is killed, he shall rise the third day. {32} But they understood not that saying, and were afraid to ask him. {33} And he came to Capernaum: and being in the house he asked them, What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way?"

2. Instead of being sorrowful about His death, what did the disciples argue about? (cf v34) [2] (Mark 9:34) "But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest."

B. What did Jesus say when each disciple, demeaning his brothers, claimed to be "more worthy" to lead.

(Mark 9:35-37) "And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. {36} And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them, {37} Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me."

1. Note some words to describe the characteristics-of one who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Cf. Mt. 18:1-5

a. 'converted' = turn completely around

b. 'little children' = not literally, but in their thinking and in their faith

c. 'humble' = to become low; be teachable

2. How severe is it to cause a fellow believer to stumble or cause offense? (cf Matt. 18:6,7)

(Mat 18:6-7) "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. {7} Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!"

3. Before we can go, to restore another (vs. 11-19), what kind of careful self-discipline is needed as described in vs. 8,9?

(Mat 18:8-9) "Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. {9} And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire."

(Gal 6:1) "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

4. Why does v.10a say we should not "despise" or "think down upon" younger believers?

(Mat 18:10) "Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven."

5. Rather than cut off, think down, or drive away, what does vs.11-14 teach us to do?

(Mat 18:11-14) "For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. {12} How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? {13} And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. {14} Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish."

II. What To Do When I Realize I Have Offended Another. Mt. 5:23-24

A. As a person prepares to worship, what degree of importance is given to settling an offense?

(Mat 5:23-24) "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; {24} Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."

B. What kind of attitude is necessary during worship?

1. Romans 12:19: No wrath or vengeance (an attitude that says I will get even)

(Rom 12:19) "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

2. Mk. 11:24-26: an attitude of forgiveness is necessary for a right relationship with God.

(Mark 11:24-26) "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. {25} And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. {26} But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."

3. Eph. 4:31,32: An attitude of kindness and tenderheartedness towards each other.

(Eph 4:31-32) "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: {32} And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

C. What kind of action aids this?

(Rom 12:20-21) "Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. {21} Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

III. How To Deal With A Brother Who Has Offended Me

A. Note Matthew 18:15

1 . "…If thy brother…" There is to be loyalty in the family of God.

(John 13:34-35) "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. {35} By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

(Gal 6:1) "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

2. "…If thy brother shall trespass …"

a. This does not regard personal preferences. (explain)

b. There is a breaking of Scriptural Truth, and the brother is "overtaken," or 'caught' in it.

c. No action is to be taken because of "hearsay" or the proverbial "smoke".

d. No action necessary if a brother falls in an area but recovers quickly and grows.

e. This action is for those who are 'overtaken' and caught up in sinful behavior.

3. "…If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go…"

a. We do not wait until the consequences of his actions hurt him or others.

b. We must Go!

c. This is a test of Christian love, do we really care about him?

B. STEP #1 (v.15) "Tell"

1. This is a strong word that means "to convict" or "to convince."

2. It is the same word used in Jn. 16:8.

(John 16:8) "And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:"

a. The believer must go in great love and concern to convince.

b. Sin causes man to react to God's truth.

c. In Gen. 3:8-13, Adam and Eve were afraid and hid themselves from God.

d. Then they began to make excuses and blame others for their sin.

3. It is important that the first step be taken privately first. Why?

a. There is no need to involve others if they are not needed.

b. It remains between the two of you and you have gained a brother.

4. Note the goal is always restoration.

a. Mt. 18:15 - 'gained thy brother'

b. Gal. 6:1 - 'restore such an one'

c. Jas. 5:20 - 'converteth the sinner'

C. STEP #2 (v. 16) 'Take'

1. If step #1 fails we are take one or two with us, and go again.

2. They are there to evaluate and establish the truth.

3. Their presence will also apply pressure toward settling and healing the offense, it is serious.

4. At this point it is important that we only involve a few.

5. Who should be chosen to go?

a. Only those who are spiritually mature.

b. Only those who are committed to dealing with the problem biblically.

c. Those who can offer support and influence to the offending brother.

D. STEP #3 (v. 17) "Tell it to the church"

1. If both steps #1 and #2 fail to bring about the goal of restoration, then it is necessary to go on to the next step.

2. Step #3 is the last resort.

3. The first two steps may be repeated if there is progress being made.

4. At this point it is necessary to publicly tell the church what is going on.

5. A brother has been overtaken in a fault and has been resistant to all efforts to restore him. (no great detail)

6. The discipline comes because of failure to repent of the sin.

7. "Let him be to thee as a heathen" (v. 17).

a. The goal is still to restore him.

b. We can and should be friendly and kind toward them.

c. But he is not to be recognized as a brother in Christ.

d. If he is a family member, eat with him as a family member, but not as a fellow believer.

(1 Cor 5:11) "But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat."

e. He is to be treated as a lost person, because that is how he is behaving.

IV. Concluding Thoughts.

A. Note v18-20

1. Taken in context, these verse deal with the process of restoring an erring brother.

2. There is a great importance placed on unity of purpose and mind here.

3. There must be agreement, or the result will be ineffectiveness.

4. Jesus promises to be with us in this process.

5. He then goes on to teach some important truths about forgiveness in v21-35.

B. Will it work?

1. There are those who say this will not work.

2. Well, who taught this method of aiding each other in solving offenses?

C. Application of Truth is Necessary.

1. When a person comes to share a problem with you about someone else, how should you tell him to handle it according to Matt. 18:15?.

2. Be sure to inform him that you will check with him soon to inquire if he has handled the problem Biblically.

3. If he went to tile offender and did not get satisfaction, encourage him to get the pastor or a deacon to go with him

4. To whom did Christ promise a blessing in Matt. 5:9?

(Mat 5:9) "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God."