## When Home Feels Like A Battleship

## Eccl. 7:1-9

On Sunday mornings, we have been using the theme, 'Games People Play' to look at some important truths from the Scripture. To help us remember these truths we have compared them games that most of us played as we were growing up. We looked at LIFE and learned that we need to have THE life, which only comes through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Before that we talked about the importance of giving Jesus the MONOPOLY of our lives.

This morning we want to look at what we should do when the homes feels like a BATTLESHIP! You remember the game of BATTLESHIP don't you? It is where we fire away at our opponent in hopes that we will hit one of their ships. If we hit them enough, we can sink them! When we have sunk all of their ships, then we win!

Does that describe your home environment at times? I'm not talking about abusive situations, because we all know that isn't right…but I am talking about the conflict and friction that comes into the household from time to time. Don't raise your hands, but how many feel like they were shot at this morning? How about this? How many took a few shots of their own before coming to church today?

Why do we do it? It is our nature to want to retaliate when someone attacks us. The result is often a battle that leaves both sides bloodied and exhausted.

But Pastor, you don't know what it is like to live in my house…it really is a war zone! I believe you, but it doesn't have to be that way! We don't have to continue to play that game! If we will learn how to deal with anger properly!

Jas 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? James makes it clear to us that the source of these battles is from within! It isn't because of finances, personalities, children, or pressures at work! It is because of sin! Yes, 'anger' is a sin! [Cf. Ec. 7:9] But here is the good news! God has an answer to sin! Before we get there, let's discuss the problem of anger.

I. How Anger Gets Started.

A. When things don't go our way

1. The example of Cain when God rejected his offering.

(Gen 4:5) But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

2. He got mad at everybody, including God!

3. You could have seen it in his face, 'his countenance fell'

4. Cain got angry and this led to his losing control and committing murder.

5. Why? Because things didn't go his way.

6. You see, Cain thought that he could come to God on his own terms, and that would be good enough!

7. But God rejected Cain's offering…He will reject every attempt of man to come his own way.

a. This morning, if you think that you will come to God on your own terms…think again!

b. As we have seen before, there is only ONE WAY to come to God…through the shed blood of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ.

c. "Well, I think…" I don't want to be rude, but it doesn't matter what we think…God's Word is the authority on the matter of salvation, and He says, it is only through faith in Jesus that we can be saved!

B. When our feelings get hurt.

1. Pain will cause us to get angry.

2. Every bump your head when getting in a car? or maybe when you were going down to the basement.

3. What happens? We get angry and we want to hit something!

4. Usually it is the wall or the car or whatever may be nearby.

5. Saul became angry with David because his feelings were hurt.

6. Remember the song the women sang?

(1 Sam 18:7-9) And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands. {8} And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? {9} And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.

7. Saul tried to kill David time and again.

C. When sin is un-confessed.

(Prov 28:13) He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

1. Jealousy - Prodigal son's brother

2. Immorality - Herodias wanted the head of John the Baptist; David with Nathan.

3. Frustration - Moses when he struck the rock instead of speaking to it.

4. Pride - Naaman got angry over the idea of washing in the muddy Jordan river.

II. Why Anger Causes Damage

A. Because it controls us.

(Prov 25:28) He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

(Prov 14:17) He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.

(Prov 14:29) He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

1. An angry person is a person who is out of control!

2. My father used to get so angry, that he couldn't see! Literally!

3. He would do things…say things…act in ways that was contrary to what he wanted to do.

4. He was out of control…unfortunately it hurt his relationship with his children and made our home feel at times like a BATTLESHIP!

B. Because it causes fights.

(Prov 15:18) A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

(Prov 29:22) An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

(Prov 13:10) Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

1. An angry person causes fights!

2. Why? Because he is out of control!

3. When we allow anger to control us, we will be contentious…we will be hard to get along with.

Pr 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

4. "He who has a sharp tongue will soon cut his own throat."

C. Because it curses our home. (Prov 11:29) He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart.

1. How many homes become battlegrounds because of anger?

2. How many children are affected by the anger they experience and learn at home?

3. My mother would make excuses for my father.

4. She would tell me that he didn't know any better…his father passed away when he was only 6 years old.

5. That was a shame, but circumstances are no excuse for sinful behavior!

6. Dobson article:

a. Interviewed a group of children between ages 9 - 12

b. Two questions, "What do you love about your parents, and what do you hate about your parents?"

c. The result was varied with what they loved about their parents, but when it comes to what they hated it was nearly unanimous: They hated the yelling and screaming.

III. How to Properly Handle Anger

A. Uncontrolled anger is a symptom of a wrong relationship with God.

1. If you don't have a relationship with God, then that is the first step of action you must take.

2. Place your faith in the finished work of Christ on Calvary, and be born again.

3. If you are a Christian, but you are still struggling with the sin of anger, then take the steps noted in the Word of God toward dealing with this sin properly.

B. Contemplate (or think about) our ways.

(Prov 29:11) A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

(Prov 19:11) The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

(Prov 12:16) A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.

1. Don't just 'fly off the handle'.

2. Newton's third law simply stated "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction".

3. How does that apply to our discussion this morning?

4. There are consequences for everything that we do.

5. How often have we had to say to someone, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking!"

6. There is a reason for that…usually we weren't thinking!

C. Control our words.

(Prov 21:23) Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

(Prov 15:1) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

1. I know of people who think it is spiritual to give someone a 'piece of their mind'.

2. But remember, we only have so much and most of us can't afford to give away much.

3. Have you ever noticed the correlation of the volume of our voice with the degree of our anger?

4. A 'soft answer' is not just in volume, but also in spirit and attitude.

D. Confess our wrongs.

(Prov 28:13) He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

1. When tempted to be angry or bitter we shouldn't:

2. Clam up Blow up or Hold up

3. But we need to 'fess up.

(Eccl 7:9) Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Has God spoken to your heart this morning? Is this something that is making your home feel like a BATTLESHIP? There is no reason to let things continue like this.

If you are not a Christian, I invite you to come today and trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Give Him the MONOPOLY in your life and receive eternal LIFE that only comes by a personal relationship with Him. Come today and be born again!

Christian, have you made excuses for the sin of anger in your life? Let's be honest with God this morning. Realize the damage that is being done to those around us because of our uncontrolled anger. Come today and surrender it all to Christ. Take the necessary steps of action to make the change and become like Christ.