## Choose Forgiveness over Bitterness

## Ephesians 4:32

What is the worst sin that a Christian could commit? Murder? Adultery? Homosexuality? Incest? What would it be? Although these are awful sins, and many others might be noted, which would be the worst? God's Word makes it clear that from God's perspective there is no distinction made concerning sin. James tells us that the smallest infraction of God's law is the same as breaking all of God's law.

(JAMES 2:10) "FOR WHOSOEVER SHALL KEEP THE WHOLE LAW, AND YET OFFEND IN ONE POINT, HE IS GUILTY OF ALL."

So from the Lord's viewpoint sin is sin, but with that in mind, we also need to realize that some sins have greater consequences to us here than others. Jesus told us that if we hate someone in our heart we are guilty of murder, but no one has been sent to the electric chair for hating another person. So, let's rephrase the question. Instead of asking what is the greatest sin that a Christian can commit, we need to ask what is the most destructive sin that a believer can commit.

In my experience, the most destructive of all sins is bitterness. Bitterness destroys people, families, and churches. Bitterness is an attitude that refuses to forgive offenses. Like a cancer, it grows until it destroys everything around it.

(HEB 12:15) "LOOKING DILIGENTLY LEST ANY MAN FAIL OF THE GRACE OF GOD; LEST ANY ROOT OF BITTERNESS SPRINGING UP TROUBLE YOU, AND THEREBY MANY BE DEFILED;"

The opposite of bitterness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is an attitude that honestly acknowledges an offense and then dismisses it on the basis of God's forgiveness of us.

(EPH 4:32) "AND BE YE KIND ONE TO ANOTHER, TENDERHEARTED, FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, EVEN AS GOD FOR CHRIST'S SAKE HATH FORGIVEN YOU."

Bitterness holds on to an offense, but forgiveness brings release. So tonight the challenge is to choose forgiveness over bitterness. How can we do that? What if the hurt is deep and the pain is great? We can choose to forgive when we understand the basis for forgiveness.

I. The Biblical Basis of Forgiveness.

A. God forgave us when we did not deserve forgiveness.

1. Romans 5:8 tells us that 'while we were yet sinners' Christ died for us.

2. What seems logical is often contrary to the Word of God.

3. Many folks believe that only good people will go to heaven...WRONG!

4. Only bad people will go to heaven; because there is none good no not one! cf Ro. 3:10

5. We need to understanc that we are not forgiven because we deserve to be forgiven; just the opposite is true.

B. God forgave us on the basis of His grace, not our works.

1. Nothing that I do or do not do can ever earn God's forgiveness.

(ROM 5:1) "THEREFORE BEING JUSTIFIED BY FAITH, WE HAVE PEACE WITH GOD THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST:"

(ROM 4:4-5) "NOW TO HIM THAT WORKETH IS THE REWARD NOT RECKONED OF GRACE, BUT OF DEBT. {5} BUT TO HIM THAT WORKETH NOT, BUT BELIEVETH ON HIM THAT JUSTIFIETH THE UNGODLY, HIS FAITH IS COUNTED FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS."

2. We have been declared forgiven by our faith (our trust in God's Word).

3. If we could do anything to earn God's forgiveness, then forgiveness would not be a gift but an obligation or debt that God would owe to us.

C. Let's make the application.

1. We are commanded to forgive others even as God has forgiven us.

2. How has He forgiven us?

3. When we didn't deserve it and on the basis of grace, not works.

II. Joseph: A Great Example of Forgiveness.

A. Family relationships provide a great potential for bitterness.

1. Joseph was Jacob's favorite son; he made that very clear.

2. Joseph's brothers were bitter over the way their father treated him.

3. Their bitterness grew to develop into action against him.

a. They plotted to murder him.

b. They wound up selling him into slavery.

c. They lied to their father about what happened to him.

4. That seems extreme, but bitterness will lead to destruction of families.

B. God was at work in Joseph's life.

1. Through a series of God orchestrated circumstances, Joseph became the pharoah's right hand man in Egypt.

2. The famine in the land caused Joseph's brothers to come to Egypt in search of food.

3. The man they had to deal with was none other than Joseph.

4. When Joseph revealed his identity to them they were frightened at what would happen.

C. Joseph was ready to forgive his brothers.

1. He recounted to them how that God had brought all things together for good.

2. What his brothers had done was wrong, but God took the wrong and used it to accomplish His will.

(GEN 50:20) "BUT AS FOR YOU, YE THOUGHT EVIL AGAINST ME; BUT GOD MEANT IT UNTO GOOD, TO BRING TO PASS, AS IT IS THIS DAY, TO SAVE MUCH PEOPLE ALIVE."

III. How to choose forgiveness over bitterness.

A. Acknowledge the hurt.

1. Forgiveness is not the same as denial.

2. Sometimes we try to deny that we are hurt by someone.

3. We may distance ourselves from certain individuals and act like nothing has happened.

4. But that isn't forgiveness...Joseph told his brothers, "You thought evil against me..."

5. If we do not acknowledge the offense, then we cannot prepare ourselves to forgive.

B. Do not leave God out of the equation.

1. Often our first response will be 'Why did this happen to me?'

2. Our focus is on ourselves and the pain that we feel over the situation.

3. We need to realize that God is not oblivious to what is happening to us.

4. We should consider and ask ourselves what is God trying to accomplish through this event?

5. God can take the worst things that happens to us and use them for His eternal purpose in our lives.

(ROM 8:28) "AND WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD, TO THEM WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE."

6. This verse doesn't mean that everything that happens to us will be good; it means that God will use it for good. (good = conforming us to the image of His Son)

C. Acknowledge our own sins and receive God's forgiveness.

1. Remember we are to forgive as we have been forgiven.

2. We need to receive God's forgiveness before we can begin to forgive someone else.

3. Our willingness to forgive others is an evidence that God has forgiven us.

The choice is ours. We can choose to remain bitter over what has happened in our lives, or we can choose to forgive. Think what it would have meant if Joseph had chosen bitterness. What about us tonight? Are there hurts that we have denied. Offenses which we have held on to? Acknowledge them...release them...and begin to experience the freedom that comes from choosing forgiveness over bitterness.