## Valuing Love

## Mark 12:29-31

"You were just involved in a ship wreck, and now you're in a rubber raft with your spouse. You have in the rubber raft a set of flares, enough food for a week and five gallons of water. You can't make it to land without throwing one thing overboard. What do you throw overboard?" If you say, "My spouse" I'm glad you here, you obviously need to have one more lesson in this series! We're going to talk today about the value of love. Jesus was asked a values question once. Values are all about what is the most important thing. Jesus was asked the ultimate values question. Some teachers of the law of the Old Testament came to Him and said, Jesus, there's lots of commands of God in the Old Testament. You've got the Ten Commandments and then you've got a lot of others. But, what's the most important? That is a values question. You have His answer on your worksheet.

(Mark 12:29-31) And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Today, we are going to close out our study on building our lives upon values that last with a look at the most important value of all; the value of love.

(1 Corinthians 13:13) And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

(Galatians 5:14) For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

I. Identify or Define What Love Is.

A. Love is one of the most misunderstood words in our language today.

1. I can say, I love my wife, Pat, and I love pepperoni pizza.

a. Of course you know there's a difference in the way I use those two terms.

b. But there's no way in our language to tell.

c. It a very misunderstood word.

Dearest John,

No words could ever express the great unhappiness I've felt since breaking our engagement. Please say that you'll take me back. No one could take your place in my heart, so please forgive me. I love you. I love you.

Yours forever, Sue

P.S. Congratulations on winning the powerball!

2. There are many popular misconceptions about love.

a. In our culture we have been fed these misconceptions of what love is from when we were children.

b. There are stories about love that make great books, that make great songs, that make great movies, but they don't tell the whole truth about what love is.

c. "Love means never having to say you're sorry" or "What's love got to do with it?"

d. Recent episode of House: Dr. Cameron invites Dr. Chase to come home with her. She is convinced she will not find true love, so meaningless sex will have to take its place.

e. Love has been plasticized by our culture.

f. Someone has said, "Young girls grow up thinking they're Snow White and that they're going to marry Prince Charming, only to find that he turns out to be Grumpy?"

3. Love is just a feeling.

a. It's all emotional and sentimental.

b. Love produces feelings, but it is much more than that.

c. Love is a commitment that we make.

d. I will say more on this later.

4. Love is uncontrollable.

a. A lot of the words we use to go along with love is saying it's uncontrollable.

b. We say when somebody's in love that their "head is spinning", they're giddy, weak in the knees', 'twitterpated'.

c. We say things like "People do the craziest things when they're in love" like that's the greatest thing in the world.

d. One of the most used phrases that promotes the idea of love being uncontrollable is "fell in love".

e. Doesn't that sound strange? Like you're walking down the street and fell in love, like you fell in a ditch.

f. You tripped and fell. You couldn't help it. It's was a pure accident.

g. The problem is if we embrace the idea that we can fall in love, then we can fall out of love just as easily.

B. What God says love is:

1. Love is a matter of choice.

a. That means that love is controllable. Jesus commanded that we love each other.

b. He never commanded us to feel a certain way; He just commanded us to do the right thing.

c. You can't command a feeling, but God does command our action.

d. He says, I want you to make a choice to love.

e. It is a commitment or choice that we make.

(Colossians 3:12-14) Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

2. Love is a matter of conduct.

a. It's about the way that we act.

b. It's about what we do.

(1 John 3:18) My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

c. This is why we can actually love people, when we don't actually like what they're doing.

d. God's not commanding that we have a warm affection for everyone, because it is not about feelings.

e. Love is the way we are act.

II. Demonstrate or Exemplify Love

A. Be Patient in Love.

(1 Corinthians 13:4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

1. The first word God uses when it comes to love is patience.

2. You spell love with four letters T-I-M-E

3. Love takes time; it takes patience with other people.

4. Part of loving someone is waiting with them for important things to happen in your lives.

5. Waiting for them to change.

6. Waiting for them to make the right decisions

7. Waiting for them to grow.

8. When love starts setting deadlines it's in real trouble; when it starts saying things like, "If you don't do this, by such and such a date, I'm out of here."

9. That's not love any more.

(Ephesians 4:1-2) I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

a. Here's what patience is -- making allowance for another person's faults because of my love.

b. Let's get real practical about what patient love does:

1) You're getting ready for church in the morning and some are slower than you.

2) When we sit down to do homework with our kids and they're just not quite getting it; and we want to do it for them.

3) When we try to skip pages in the story that we read to our children, or we impatiently finish someone's sentence or story before they get the chance.

c. Patience is waiting for others, like God waits for us.

1) God patiently waited for us to come to Him…not willing that any should perish.

2) God listens to every one of our prayers. He's God, He knows what I am going to say, but He still listens to my prayer.

3) He patiently waits for us to 'get it' in our lives, and I am so thankful that He does.

4) Love is patient.

B. Be Kind in Love.

(1 Corinthians 13:4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

1. Kindness is caring for someone in the practical and the small details of life.

2. Kindness is taking the grand vows in a wedding ceremony and turning them into washing dishes and taking out the trash even if it isn't your turn.

3. Kindness is taking the great hope you have in a hospital nursery and translating them into changing dirty diapers.

4. Through one act of kindness, we have the power to change a person's life.

(Ephesians 4:32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

5. To be kind means to be tenderhearted. That means I have to care in my heart about what you're facing.

6. Kindness means we forgive other people, just as God has forgiven us.

7. Kindness means that we act towards others like God has acted towards us.

C. Don't Be Prideful in Love

(1 Corinthians 13:4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, [9]

1. Don't try to impress other people with the kind of love that you have.

2. Love doesn't envy; it doesn't boast; and it's not proud.

3. This verse is talking about insecurity.

a. If I've got a security in my love I don't have to envy what you have.

b. If I've got a security in my love, I don't have to boast about what I have.

c. Security is one of the number one issues in relationships; if you add a little bit of insecurity into any relationship it will tear it apart.

d. This is why God is so clear in His word about how secure we are in His love once we come to Him in Christ.

(Romans 8:38-39) For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

D. Don't Be Unseemly in Love

(1 Corinthians 13:5) Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

1. This verse gives us the clarification of unseemly behavior.

2. "Seeketh not her own" or selfish behavior

3. "Not easily provoked" or short-fused

4. "Thinketh no evil" or keeps score or record

E. Don't Quit on Love

(1 Corinthians 13:7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

1. True love doesn't quit.

2. 'Beareth' = to cover with silence

3. 'believeth' = trust and confidence

4. 'hopeth' = expectantly looks forward

5. 'endureth' = bears up under a load

6. Putting all of these words together, we see that Paul is declaring that love never quits!

(Galatians 6:9) And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

- Be patient in Love
- Be kind in Love
- Don't Be Prideful in Love
- Don't Be Unseemly in Love
- Don't Quit on Love