## Problems: Anger

## Ephesians 4:26-27

Tonight I want to deal with the subject of "anger". Anger is a devastating power when it is uncontrolled, but an effectual power when it iscontrolled. Webster defines it as being a strong feeling of displeasure. I believe that his definition is too general for our full understanding of this problem. Uncontrolled anger is shattering husband- wife communications and relations. It is causing parents to miss their goals with their children. And it is affecting the joy and health of the individual as well as causing many other problems.

Uncontrolled anger is probably most dangerous because it is so widely excused. Consider with me tonight a list of rights which we want to claim, and when violated, causes us to become angry. **(see list)** Uncontrolled anger is a symptom to warn us of several facts:

1. I am reacting and defending: My rights are not yielded to Christ.

2. I am out of control, and am being controlled by circumstances.

3. I am upset because I am focusing on things that pass away with time.

4. I am powerless to change apart from Christ's strength and direction from His Word.

Note the various phases of anger that will progress if left unchecked:

1. It begins with mild irritation.

2. That irritation turns into indignation, the feeling that something must be answered back.

3. Indigantion leads to wrath, which is the expression of the feeling.

4. Wrath moves to fury, which is a loss of emotional control.

5. Fury then becomes rage which is a temporary loss of sanity.

I. Observations Regarding Anger. Ep. 4:26-27

A. It is a God-given emotion.

1. Just as He has given us the emotion of compassion, happiness, sadness, etc.

2. He has given us the emotion of anger.

3. When used properly, it helps us to handle stress and to solve problems today!

B. Anger is not necessarily sinful.

1. Note v26, "Be ye angry, and sin not..."

2. There are times when the emotion of anger is appropriate, but we are not to carry that anger to the point of sin.

3. Anger becomes sinful when it is not controlled!

C. Anger must have some safeguards.

1. "...Let not the sun go down upon your wrath."

a. In Paul's day, the day ended with the setting of the sun.

b. There was no mystical significance to sundown.

c. The primary meaning here is simple: solve today's problems today!

d. We cannot afford to sleep on wrong feelings; forgiveness must be in our hearts at the day's end.

2. "Neither give place to the devil."

a. Uncontrolled anger is sinful and sin opens the door for the devil to attack our lives.

b. As believers, we should never give an opportunity for the enemy to control us.

II. Examples of Justifiable Anger.

A. When God's Word and will are consciously disobeyed by God's people.

1. Note: Exodus 32:19-20

a. Moses, who, after receiving the Ten Commandments from God, returned to the base of the mountain and found the people people involved in idolatry.

b. His "anger waxed hot" and he broke the tables of stone, burned the golden calf, ground it into powder, put it in the water, and made the people drink it!

c. Aaron tried to make excuse, but there was no excuse for their sin!

2. Note: 1 Kings 11:1-4; 9-10

a. Anger is not an emotion that only man posesses.

b. Here we have an account of God getting angry with Solomon because he knowingly disobeyed the command of God.

B. When God's House is Defiled.

1. Note: John 2:12-17

a. When Jesus found the temple being used as a place of merchandise rather than a place of worship He drove them out and cleansed the temple.

b. He had to do it again near the close of His ministry.

c. He used the emotion of anger to solve the problem.

2. Consider the messages to the churches in Asia.

a. To Ephesus: Re. 2:4-5

b. To Pergamos: Re. 2:13-16

c. To Thyatira: Re. 2:19-23

d. To Sardis: Re. 3:2-3

e. To Laodicea: Re. 3:15-19

C. Many examples can be found of justifiable anger throughout the Scriptures, but that isn't the real problem.

III. Anger is Sinful When:

A. It is selfishly motivated.

1. Note: Luke 15:25-32

a. Here the motive is envy.

b. His real problem was self- righteousness.

c. He thought that he was better than his brother because of what he did.

d. His anger was not so much directed toward his brother as it was toward his father!

e. His rights had been violated!

2. Note: Daniel 3:12-13

a. Nebuchadnezzar was not angry with these men because of who they were.

b. He was angry because his pride was damaged.

c. We can see the progress of anger result in insane behavior.

d. Note: v19-22

3. Note: Jonah 3:10-4:4

a. Jonah did not want to see the city of Ninevah repent.

b. He wanted God to destroy them.

c. When he didn't get his way he became angry and went off to sulk and complain.

4. Self-righteousness, pride, and childish pouting all examples of unjustified anger.

B. God's goal in the matter is distorted. cf. Eph. 6:4

1. Disciplining children.

a. The parent is not acting in sinful anger when his goal in discipline is to lovingly and firmly correct the child in order to "bring them up" to be responsible.

b. It is selfish sinfulness to ignore the need because the parent is fearful of his temper.

c. Or for the parent to explode and punish the child for bothering him.

2. Example: When two adults are talking and a child interrupts.

a. A parent may sinfully correct the child because he is disturbed.

b. Or he may effectively correct in controlled anger because he knows that respect is a lesson essential for that child to learn as he grows up.

3. We must attack the problem and not the person. cf. Ep. 4:29-32

a. When a child is not handling life well, the result of anger will be one of three things.

b. We may ventilate, or blow up.

1) at the child

2) at our spouse

3) at others ie. teachers, friends, etc.

c. We may internalize, or clam up

1) refuse to say or do anything.

2) begin to reflect on the supposed fact that we are a failure as a parent.

d. Or we use the anger to give us energy to attack the problem and come to a solution!

C. We react too quickly, without investigating the facts.

1. Eccl. 7:9, "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."

2. Jas. 1:19, "Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."

3. Prov. 16:32, "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."

4. We must act upon biblical principles, and not react to the circumstances.

IV. Anger Can and Must be Controlled.

A. It can be!

1. We do it all the time whether we realize it or not.

2. Too often we want to excuse it.

a. Well, that's just the way I am

b. I can't help it, this is the way that God made me!

c. You don't know what a lousy day I have had!

3. Angry people can change with God's help using God's principles.

4. Ph. 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

5. cf. 1 Co. 10:13

B. It must be!

1. God's Word commands it.

2. God would never command us to do something that we were not able to obey.

C. How do I deal with this sinful anger?

1. Learn to ignore petty disagreements. cf. Pr. 19:11

2. Refrain from close association with angry people. cf. Pr.22:24-25

3. Keep a close check on your tongue. cf. Pr. 15:1; 21:23

4. Cultivate honesty in communication without letting anger build up. cf. Ep. 4:25-26

5. Realize that uncontrolled anger will destroy us. cf. Pr. 25:28

Conclusion: Uncontrolled anger frustrates and embarrasses us, hurts our testimony with the lost, and creates tremendous problems in our family between husband and wife, and in our relationship with our children. We must quit excusing it and making allowances for it and must start applying these biblical principles.