## How to Give Criticism

## I Peter 4:8

Over the last several weeks we have looked at the subject of receiving criticism. We began with the definition that criticism is "any judgment made about you by another, which declares that you fall short of a particular standard." There were several principles that we considered concerning how to receive criticism.

1. Willingness to Receive Criticism is a Mark of the Wise.

2. Wise or Foolish, We Reap According to Our Ability to Receive Criticism.

3. We Need to Learn to Accept Criticism with a view of the Cross.

4. We Need to Learn to Apply these Principles to Both Just and Unjust Criticism.

Now I want us to continue on in our study of handling criticism, but this time I want us to consider how to GIVE criticism. We will use the same definition, but let's change the perspective. For this section of our study we will say that criticism is "any judgment made by us, which declares that others fall short of a particular standard."

INPUT: Which do you find easier, giving criticism or receiving it?

INPUT: Why is giving criticism a difficult thing to do?

I. Extremes that we must avoid

A. Being Hypercritical

1. Some folks are 'criticism machines'.

2. It is amazing how often they have a criticism on their lips.

3. Sometimes it is a general approach to everyone and everything.

4. And at other times it's just when that particular topic comes up, or that particular event, or that particular person.

5. Note the Biblical Principle.

a. Love covers a multitude of sins.

(1 Pet 4:8) And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

(Prov 10:12) Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

b. INPUT: What do these Scriptures have to do with criticism?

c. When we love one another with 'agape' love, we will not find it necessary to overly criticize them.

d. Their sin or fault will not be the focus of our attention.

B. Not being critical at all.

1. The opposite extreme is also undesirable.

2. Never confronting another is not the balanced approach to this subject.

(Eph 4:26) Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

3. If love will not cover it…it is time to speak up.

4. Now, I didn't say it is time to 'blow up'.

5. We need to be able to communicate to one another properly.

(1 Th 5:14) Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

II. Work at Building a Foundation of Encouragement and Commendation.

A. Remember the hypercritical person?

1. If we become known as that type of person, we may give out lots of criticism…

2. But it isn't very likely that anyone will receive it and benefit from it.

3. Keep in mind…that is the purpose of criticism…to bring about change that will be beneficial.

4. We need to build a foundation of commendation and encouragement or our criticism will not be well received.

B. Most of us could use some improvement in this area.

1. In the family

a. The parent who commends his child often will get a much better response when a criticism has to be given.

b. It also makes the home sweeter when this is practiced between husbands and wives.

c. We tend to be quicker at pointing out the weaknesses than we are the strengths.

(Eph 4:29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

2. This principle applies in every relationship that we have.

3. The Bible commands us to edify one another.

(Rom 15:2) Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

4. Remember we need balance in our lives

III. We Need to Prepare Our Own Hearts.

A. Making sure of our motives.

INPUT: Why is this important?

1. Remember the purpose of criticism?

2. It is to bring about a change or a correction that will be beneficial to the individual.

3. It isn't to 'get a load off our chest' or to make us feel better!

(Prov 15:28) The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

B. View the Person as One for Whom Christ Died.

1. Jesus died for all, and that includes the person that we are criticizing.

2. Sometimes we can speak to or about persons with such force that it appears we believe they are hopeless, unlovable, unworthy of compassionate treatment.

3. Can you imagine what would have happened if God treated us the way we sometimes treat others?

(Eph 4:32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

C. Examine Our Own Life First.

INPUT: Where do we learn about this principle?

(Mat 7:3) And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

1. What was Jesus illustrating with this verse?

2. Again it is important that we keep in mind the purpose behind criticism.

(2 Tim 2:24-25) And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, {25} In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

Criticism, we need to know how to receive it, and how to give it.

1. Avoid Extremes

2. Build a Foundation of Commendation

3. Prepare Our Hearts

Have we found ourselves in the study this evening? Do we tend too much toward the negative? Do we keep quiet when we should be exhorting others? Have we considered ourselves first?

Do we need to make some changes? Change is a necessary part of growth. If God has revealed areas in need of change, let's respond to Him this evening by saying, yes to Him!